Being “busy” is the new cool. It’s the new status quo, the new norm and the new way of life that’s plaguing not just moms, but people of all walks of life across the globe.
Just think about it, the last time you ran into someone at the grocery store and they asked you how you are, how did you respond?
“Oh, I’m great… I’ve just been soooo BUSY!”
Of course we’re busy, we’re moms.
We’re the generation of super parents who, as a result of unrealistic, photo-shopped versions of reality on television and social media, are somehow expected to keep up with all the other parents who seem to have the remarkable ability to juggle work, family, volunteering, cooking, cleaning and running fourteen errands all while folding six loads of laundry (while driving, of course), and looking fabulously sexy for our husbands.
Are you kidding me?
It’s an illusion no one can keep up with for very long.
Come on, admit it… behind the scenes we’re really a generation of down to earth tired moms struggling to keep up, screaming to wear our slippers and sweats to Target, who long to take a power nap during the day and who’d love to give a shout out to the world that we’re sick of our frantic, frenzied lives and we’re ready for a strawberry margarita on a terrace with friends who feel the exact same way. (I’m totally serious about the margarita part… oh, and the part about wearing our slippers and sweats to Target.)
But, what I’m wondering is, if we’re all so incredibly tired of it, why do we work so hard at being busy? Are we really as busy as we say we are?
Who are we in competition with? What are we trying to prove? Is it really us or are we simply a byproduct of a culture that celebrates being crazy busy? Have we been seduced and motivated by the impression that everyone else is doing more and far cooler “stuff” than we are? Do we push ourselves beyond the limit as a means to prove to the world that we’re important, successful, accomplished or popular as if it holds some level of profound status? Or, maybe, our lives are so incredibly boring that we feel compelled to put up a well-crafted façade on social media to prove to the world just how fabulously busy and amazing our lives really are.
My question is… why do we seem to care so darn much about any of that and, more importantly, how do we stop the cycle of perpetual busyness that’s wearing so many of us out and robbing us of precious moments we can never revisit?
Sure, there will always be things that have to be done, obligations and deadlines we have to meet and events and happenings we have to attend, but is it really necessary to cram as much as we do into one short 24-hour period as if our life depends on it? Would our world come crashing down around us if we stepped off the racetrack for a few minutes every day just to breathe?
You may not realize it, but being perpetually busy can actually become an addiction and it can be just as challenging to stop as any other addiction such as alcohol, shopping or drugs.
The big difference between the “busy” addiction and other addictions is that Western society places a high value on being busy. Our society doesn’t only accept it, we embrace it, crave it and even use our busyness as a benchmark to gauge the very essence of our lives.
What’s worse, our busy lifestyle is wreaking havoc on our health. It’s zapping us of our energy, making us irritable, impacting our immune system, giving us headaches, and making us lose far too much sleep. Heck, our lives are so darn busy that we’re having trouble finding the time to “exercise and eat healthy”.
Is it really true that we don’t have the time or is it that we don’t take or make the time? It’s a vicious botched priority-driven cycle we can’t seem to break, always putting others first and you last.
But, the saddest part is that we’re passing our Starbuck’s, caffeinated, infectious mindset onto our kids. Just the other day, I noticed a 9 year having a giant Caramel Frappuccino (with a whopping 46 to 84 grams of sugar). What the hell!!!
Our kids are being taught, simply by observing us race through life, that in order to be productive, valued or successful we must be constantly on the go. And, we wonder why our kids are totally stressed out and out of shape?
In an era where downtime is viewed as a weakness, laziness or simply a luxury we only succumb to one or two weeks out of the year when we’re on vacation or when we’re flat on our back sick with the flu, maybe it’s time we join forces as moms admit that we can’t do it all, that we can’t be everything to everyone and agree to jump off the hamster wheel and detox from the damaging barrage of busyness.
A side note from a coach:
It can be somewhat difficult surviving our everyday hectic lives of getting the kids ready for school, dropping them off, making their lunches, doing homework, getting ready for your work, what to wear, gas in the car, traffic, deadlines to meet, boss promoting someone over you, chatter from colleagues at work, traffic driving home, picking kids up, making dinner, more homework, school projects, PTA, bedtime routine, and sleep.
Where is the time for you? You deserve it, you are a dedicated parent, spouse, or partner trying to do the right thing; most of the time.
It’s time to put yourself first!
No one is going to get you to where you want to be in your life but you. If you don’t do it, nobody else will. If you want to create the life that you desire, you need to take responsibility for your life and do the things which are necessary to get you from where you are right now to where you want to be. Create intention and put it into action with commitment and energy. If you don’t handle things properly, you can easily become stressed with a thinking of “this is never going to happen”. One of the most overlooked components of self-care i.e. the need to put yourself first is not having the right mindset. To put yourself first is to ensure that you are looking after your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. Having a clear focused vision is critical.
The important truth is that if you fail to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally, you may find yourself facing an insurmountable setback. Energy, enthusiasm, and motivation are not bottomless wells. You have to replenish them on a regular basis.
How do I do that? You can create a morning routine (just for you)
Mental Coaching (call it “Finding your Vibe”)
The process of programming your subconscious-mind to bring forth your intention, this is called “imprinting”. Imprinting is the deliberate control of our thoughts and pictures concerning the kind of changes we want to make. The imprinting occurs when our subconscious-mind accepts the new image of the end result. Imprinting is a three-step process:
1. You affirm your goal with a series of intention statements.
2. You picture the end results.
3. You feel the emotion(s) that goes along with accomplishing the goal.”
Question: How am I limiting myself right now?
The simple answer is: because you choose to.
I think it is important to think of self limitation as a choice rather than something that is out of your capacity to change. Why? Because we each have this capacity to choose our paths. You must understand that we are unique beings with a purpose.
From my personal experience, I feel the biggest reason people limit themselves is that they are truly afraid of asking themselves the tough questions and then facing the honest truths about their shortcomings. This in itself is a choice. Once you choose to both ask the hard questions and face your shortcomings with brutal honesty, only then can you understand the actions you need to take to remove said “Limits”.
As an extension of this idea, another reason behind why people limit themselves is how they “choose” to act based on the fear of failure. Although it is natural to fear failure, or have a negative perception of it, you should not allow the threat of failure to scare you into constant inaction. Action, or inaction, should be a conscious and well thought out decision. Also, sometimes it pays to just take SOME risks, even in the face of failure. Why? Because we are unique humans. We are designed to adapt. Adaptation in itself can be thought of as an iterative process of failure and reconfiguration to steadily improve your outcomes (in other words, learning from your mistakes and re-applying corrections).
I’m sure there are a plethora of other reasons why you would limit yourself but these are the few I could think of. Hope this helps!
How are my current actions creating my future?
Creating your future through the actions you take today
We’ve all stopped and asked ourselves at one point or another, “What does the future hold for me and my life?”
It’s tough not to jump ahead. Of course, we want to know what the end result of our actions will be – what it will net us. Wanting answers in advance of the questions to be asked.
But when we focus our attention on what’s up ahead, we lose focus of the things we’re doing right now: the things we do have control over and that we can tweak and change if we choose to.
Why choose to focus on a point in time that does not yet exist? Especially
knowing that nothing is static: things are constantly changing and evolving.
For example, you decided to lose weight and get in shape. You can picture what that will look and feel like (futuristically) in your mind, but most likely be making changes along the way. Then losing interest and quitting because it’s not happening the way you thought.
If you waste your time worrying about what the results of your actions might be in 6 months, then you’ll miss out on the actions you could be taking right now in order to improve whatever it is you’re working on.
Seems pretty silly at its core, doesn’t it?
You get to decide
You can’t change the past, and you can’t predict the future, but you can decide what it is you dedicate your time to now.
Achieving the result you want most
Focusing on the present can be tough, and just like everything else in life, we have to actively be practicing it in order to become better at it.
If you want to become a better writer, you must write more. If you want to become a better teacher, you must teach more. If you want to become a better coach, you must coach more. You get the idea.
So how do we practice focusing on the present so that it becomes a habit for us?
How do we practice focusing on the present so that we can achieve the results we want most in the future?
steps to focusing on the present
One of the most important steps in breaking through whatever it is that’s holding you back is being able to recognize when you’re doing that thing.
In this case, “that thing” would be us not focusing on the present.
Because I’ve practiced being more aware of my behavior, I’ve become quite good at recognizing when I’m focusing more on the unknown results of my actions (the future) versus my actions themselves (the present).
When this happens, I stop and I remind myself that by focusing on the future, I’m preventing myself from actively participating in – and learning from – my journey.
Bring yourself back
Be an active participant on your journey. Once you’ve recognized that you’re not focusing on the present, it’s time to bring yourself back.
Remind yourself that things are constantly changing, and therefore, worrying about what “might happen” in 6 months is a waste of your time. Chances are whatever is going to happen in 6 months will change a hundred times between now and then.
FOCUS: What is it that needs to happen right now in order to make whatever you’re working on the absolute best it can be?
A journey is defined as an act of traveling from one place to another. Where we’ll start and where we’ll end up are variables, but where we are at this very moment in time is under our control.
Let go & focus
You cannot change what has happened in the past. It has defined the first leg of the journey you’re on. And there is no sense in trying to predict the future, because that leg of the journey is still far ahead.
What you need to be concerned with is right now.
Let go of all of the doubts and fears and concerns you’re holding on to. They’re only holding you back from actively creating what it is you truly want to achieve. Trying to predict where you’ll end up will only stall your progress in getting there.
Focus on what it is you’re creating now – that is the only thing you have control over.
Remember, the only way to start creating your future is through the actions you take today.
Ask yourself the tough questions regarding making a “choice to change”.
Are you ready to do something about it and bring back the energy you used to have before the responsibilities of life wore you down?
Because if you’re ready, it’s possible.
The perfect time to start is an illusion. The perfect time is always now.
Let’s do this…
Together; because you are not alone.
Come in for a consult (CLICK HERE) and let’s talk. Allow me to show you what you are truly capable of.
Kipp – KALFIT Coach & Mentor
P.S. If you can relate and need guidance or just someone to listen to your story, CLICK HERE for a free consult. If you are ready or need more info about our upcoming summer session – click our FIT&LEAN2019 and we will get right back to you.
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